Thursday, 20 March 2014

Can You Figure Out What It Is?

Here's a little challenge for everyone, read the story and comment to tell me what you think this  is about, Hint: This is based on a true event.

My legs are shaking I'm telling everyone I'm not scared when really I'm literally jumping out of my seat, I look around people scattered everywhere I hope no-one see's how nervous I probably look. Just when my nerves are getting a little to much a nice lady walks over with a burden in her hand it was like an angel carrying a fire-ball!
The lady told me to relax  it would be better for everyone! It felt like forever but really it took about  thirty seconds and most of it didn't move me.
It is all over. My Body is experiencing a tidal wave of emotions, I'm laughing, I'm upset and angry all at the same time, what about? Well you'll have to figure that out for yourself!

If your still confused here is one more clue: After this I was feeling very tired and my body was aching!
Posted by at
Location: Auroa, New Zealand

8 comments:

  1. Mr Spice20 March 2014 at 19:49

    That was a good piece of writing. It was both vivid in description and vague in detail, really hooking in the reader. The fact that it took 30 seconds, there was a nice lady (name unknown) who was carrying a fireball and it would be better for everyone (meaning they were all anticipating the same fate) would probably suggest you are describing a vaccination (injection)?

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    1. Emily21 March 2014 at 08:39

      You Are correct! Thank you for the wonderful comment Mr.Spice! I very much enjoy feedback and i thought this post might be fun to try.
      Emily, Room1

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  2. Mr Webb20 March 2014 at 20:00

    Mr Spice has nailed it Emily, that's a great example of a fantastic 'hook' to draw the reader into your work, and a great piece of creative writing. I know the answer because of what happened at school however I was completely drawn into the story and think its a great example of the work that you are capable of. Don't know that I would change much more about this than there is.
    Mr Webb

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    1. Emily21 March 2014 at 08:40

      Thank you Mr.Webb! I thought this post would be a different view than just a regular story Emily,Room1

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  3. Brylee w, Auroa school, Room 1, Taranaki20 March 2014 at 20:24

    Brylee w
    Hi emily that is a great peice of decriptive writing keep it up and I think I know the awnser is it about getting your year 8 Jab.

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    1. Emily21 March 2014 at 08:41

      Thanks for the comment Brylee! Yes this story IS about the yr8 jabs (not as painful as you think!) Emily

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  4. Anonymous21 March 2014 at 12:39

    Um let me think about that!!! I know, it was our yr8 jabs. I'm just wondering are you still aching or are you fine now? That was a really awesome post about it. Im looking forward for you posting about new and exicting things.
    Isabelle, Room1,Taranaki, NZ

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    Replies
    1. Anonymous21 March 2014 at 12:42

      How Did you Know? (she says scarcasticly!) Thank you for your comment your blog is looking great! Emily

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