Sunday, 3 August 2014


A few days ago I entered my story for the Elsie Locke writing prize. The theme is water, I hope you enjoy my story and please feel free to give me some feedback about what I could work on or what you liked about it. Wish me luck for the competition!

Life giver or life taker which was it to be? As I lie under the car, the metal pushed up against my back. The hot sun’s beating down on me, every time I see a cloud appear out of the endless blue sky I wish for rain - let it rain.

From night to day, from dusk to dawn, not a drop falls on the desert floor. I am stuck and I’m all alone. It was a second, then a minute, an hour and then… a day!

 I can barely remember the image, my hands clutching the steering wheel, my foot wandering off the gas, my eyes drift close and life as I know it slowly disappears but what’s about to happen next is rather obvious… so here I am. Barely surviving, my eyes roll back and all I  see is the sun beating down, one ray after another, Oh fragile humanity!  I think of my family, back home worried sick, I think of the possibility of death. I wish for water. My already thin body is fading, my throat is dry like chalk, my eyes are itchy and sore. My lips are the desert. I want to sleep but fear overrules me. Scared of the consequence, what will happen?  

Night falls and the desert grows cold. The swallowing black darkness engulfs me. All I can hear are the grains of sand rustling against each other. If only I knew what is going to happen tomorrow. All I know is that I’m going to be thirsty. Very thirsty.

I wake up and the sun is not as painstakingly warm as yesterday, maybe a sand storm is coming? Suddenly I feel something. A shiver travels down my spine like quick lighting. Is it a snake?  I’m too afraid to look, if this cruel animal swallows me whole it’ll be doing me a favour at least it’s a quick death. Dying from thirst is far worse. A slow and painful death.

One drop, two drops, pitter patter, three drops, four. My palm reaches over; and I lick my fingers. I savour the momentous taste, my tongue worms around trying to catch the sky’s tear, its taste, Oh sweet water! How am I meant to treasure this beautiful liquid? My brain slowly flickers, pitter patter, the drops are so distracting. They are bathing me for the first time in two days. Then when I’ve almost forgotten what I’m doing… It hits me head-on, why hadn’t I thought of this before? It’s so extremely obvious! I begin to dig.

I dig and dig until my hands turn brown, I dig and dig until my hands are numb, I dig as the rain continues to pour, bigger drops, louder drops, heavier drops they begin to fill my watering hole. My throat begins to quiver with excitement; I search around the car, I find a travelling mug, I dip the cup into the hole and take one great gorgeous gulp. My legs tense, my arms are wiggling free.  The water trench surrounds me, like a stream I burst my banks. Oh wondrous joy!

I gather my things out of reach for so long.  But as I run into the pouring rain I know there is one more thing I must do. I grab the mug fill it to the brim close the lid, and begin to write: Drink me, I am the world’s most wanted yet forgotten resource I am help, I am survival. DRINK ME.


  1. Thanks for sharing this Emily. I can feel the despair in your character and love the mention of her parched mouth. The start drew me in. Great to be in the middle of the action rather than just starting with "I was driving down the road.." I think I'll share that method with our students.
    Good luck with the competition!

    1. No Mrs Hyde Thank You! I honestly enjoyed reading your comment. I was quite proud of my efforts and I hope that the competition goes well too, just to enter is quite amazing! Thank you so very much, Emily